CONVERSATIONS IN ITALIAN

  I admire the Italians. They really protect their own culture. They have collectively come to the conclusion that yes, English language has its uses, but there is no need to contaminate the nation as a whole with foreign influences. It is a big mistake in Italy to walk into an office/shop/hotel and expect to be understood in English. I know that as a foreigner, I don't have a choice: I have to learn Italian as soon as possible because, frankly, I feel like being closed in an airtight capsul in a space station, trying to communicate with life outside.
  On the other hand, it is quite comforting that Italians I have met so far, really try to understand what I am trying to say. They are very willing and happy to make a good guess too. Imagine, trying to carefully construct a sentence, waiting for a very simple "yes" or "no" answer. Instead, you are welcomed with a shower of explanations in Italian. All you can do, is to smile helplessly.
   It is amazing too, how the language courses and CDs spend awful long time in explaining how to behave in restaurants, such as to order food & drink (when the waiters can understand from the slightest hint what you may want and never tell you about the daily specials, which are truly delicious).  These courses give you a totally false confidence, believe me. The vocabulary needed in tricky, everyday situations is totally forgotten.

    I had one such situation the other day. An electrician came to put up some lamps  - yes, it is best to have an electrician to do this if you don't want to be electrocuted on the spot - and check which sockets are functioning and which ones are not. An Italian friend, who happened to be on holiday in Genoa, arranged the appointmen with the electrician. He came on time and after couple of hours everything was done. Very happy customer, thank you.

    However, quite soon after he had said arrivederci, I noticed that he had left his machine for checking the electrical current behind. Now, this is not a standard thing. I don't even know what is that thing called in English. But I knew that I will have to make a Telephone Call to tell him about this and ask when will he be able to come and pick it up. Out came the little pocket dictionary. After checking some words from the dictionary, I had enough courage to make the call.
I will reconstruct this here in English for the benefit of readers, but this is how it went in Italian - at least how I thought it went:

Me: Aah, Good Evening, this is Mrs X.

Mr Electrician: Good evening.

Me: You. Forgetting. Machine. At my house.

Mr Electrician: You want my address?

Me: No, no, thank you. A problem. Yellow machine. At my house.

Mr Electrician: What? I don't understand.

Me: Yellow. Machine. Electric current. At my house.

Mr Electrician: (Silence for a while). AAAAAH, I understand. You have the machine to measure electrical current and I left it there?

Me: Yes (with a huge relief).

And then we agreed that he will come and collect it the next morning, which he did.
Phewww. Cannot wait for the next problem to be solved in Italian.